Adopting mother (Уматерил)

[Перевод будет в комментах...].I live by 2 rules: (1) do no harm and (2) believe in magic..Once upon a time, I met a gorgeous lady at a pool. She was 20 years older than me, charming and lovable. At some point, we talked about our families:-- My mother died about 20 years ago. I miss her, and I wish I still had a mother.-- Sorry. Some things are not to return. I always wanted to have a second son, but it never happened; it is too late for me now.-- Do you believe in magic?-- Yes.-- Would you agree if I adopt you? I will "reincarnate" a mother for myself, and you will get the second son.-- Yes..I love when huggable people say "yes" to me, especially if it is an agreeable lady..With my adopted mother came some responsibilities [I do take some care of her] and lots of benefits:.(1) I had only a younger brother; now, I have an older sister. She knows everything and wants to teach me..)).(2) In addition to my living father, I obtained a stepdad. [I consider him my twin brother since he was born the same day as me on the 6th of December.] He does lots of gardening, and I got now a plentiful supply of fresh vegetables, fruits, and berries..(3) My children got a grandmother. My brother effectively got a stepmother, his wife got a mother-in-law, and their children also got a grandmother. I have not yet thought of a proper celebration to welcome my adopted mother into my family..)).(4) I became a jew. My adopted mother is a Belorussian-jew, and I was a Russian-armenian. Since mothers pass Judaism to their children, my adopted mother automatically converted me into armenian-jew, -- I continue to be Armenian by my father. That is so intriguing to be an armenian-jew with a blood composition of 75% Russian, 25% Armenian, and 0% jew. Moreover, I was born in USSR, Moscow and now live in USA, Boston. I do not speak Armenian, nor have I ever been to Armenia, neither I speak Yiddish or traveled to Israel. I do have dual Russian-US citizenship. Once I formalize and legalize my adoption of the mother (https://myadoptionforms.com), the next step will be to apply for Armenian and Israeli citizenship..(5) I got an easy way to change my name to Kar Bayan. I was tired of living in the US as a male with my Armenian first name Karen. And it was always tedious to deal with official documents and accounts with my former 10-character long last name, BaXXXXXyan. Now I am achieving 50% savings with the new last name. And, I will be continuously laughing when one will "Kar" (aka crowing) to address me..PS: If you wish to support me, please, consider donating to my Venmo account https://account.venmo.com/u/Dr-KarBayan